A Beginner' Guide to Setting Boundaries

BOUNDARIES - I’ve just been listening to @glennondoyle’s “We can do Hard Things” podcast and this week’s episode is all about boundaries.

⛔️ What are boundaries? ⛔️

My take on boundaries is they are the things we will and won’t accept in our lives from ourself and others. As well as how far our responsibility stretches in certain situations.

👷‍♀️ Why boundaries are hard👷‍♀️

Boundaries are hard because they are difficult to set up in the first place, and after this your work isn’t done - oh no. The next bit is even harder - seeing the boundary through.

One of the hardest places I find setting boundaries is with the kids. There are so many things I want to teach themi, and so many fears I have about what could happen when they grow up, go to high school, have girlfriends or boyfriends.

I don’t know how many times I’ve threatened to take something away like a device or pudding the next day and then when it gets to that day, I want to be Fun Mum and can’t see it through!!

❤️ We want to be liked ❤️

Historically, when we all lived in tribes being cast out meant pretty certain death, so we developed an inbuilt system to keep us alive and stay part of the gang. Which was helpful back then.

But now, that same mechanism makes it hard for us to do anything that risks upsetting others. And it tries even harder to keep stop us when we see people we love getting upset or angry because of our actions.

🍝 Whose feelings are you really responsible for?🍝

The other part I definitely related to (and my hubby can vouch for me here), is being responsible for the other peoples’ feelings - people I don’t even know. Many a time have we been out for dinner and I’m too busy listening to the “horrible” man hon the next table for his “wrongs” or I’m in a meeting and I can see someone else wants to speak, but another person isn’t shutting up and all I can feel is rage at the injustice - rather than stepping back and let them be responsible for themselves.

Over to you and your boundaries....

❓How do you feel about boundaries?

❓Are you a boundary boss or a boundary beginner?

❓Where or with who do you find it hardest to set boundaries?